Jul 14th 2008 11:05AM by Adam Jacobi (author feed)
Filed under: Packers, NFC North, NFL Free AgencyOh, you silly fools, you ignorant mortals. You underestimated it. You doubted its power. You thought it couldn’t exact its revenge on an NFL piss-drunk on its own power if you put a player on the cover.

Oh, you silly fools.

The Madden Curse has clearly struck again, as Brett Favre has decisively ruined his reputation worse than any other retired quarterback who doesn’t want to kiss you. In many ways, this is worse than breaking Michael Vick’s leg or taking Randy Moss away from Daunte Culpepper; those men, after all, were still in the league and fully aware of its dangers. Let’s say Culpepper and Vick’s misfortune is like “swimming with the sharks.” By way of comparison, Favre’s last two weeks, which elicited this angry (yet wholly amusing) tirade by Stephen A. Smith, have been akin to dipping a big toe into a wading pool and having your leg severed at the hip by pirahnas.

Stop yourself, Mr. Favre. You don’t know what these Madden gods are capable of. They took away Shaun Alexander’s legs. They exploded Marshall Faulk’s and Garrison Hearst’s ankles. And don’t even ask Donovan McNabb about that sports hernia. Imagine what happens if you set one foot on Lambeau Field in 2008. Those video game programmers are going to have to add a new injury to their list: “Death By Flaming Meteor.” That’s at least six weeks on the shelf, man.